Fellow Dads,
While I will not make a habit of cluttering up your inbox, I felt it necessary to update y’all on March Dadness. The Dank 16 round proved to be competitive with some surprising upsets.
In one of the biggest upsets of the tournament, a future legend has fallen: against all odds the old school magnetism and childhood trauma of Mufasa defeated Bandit. Pour one out for a real one. Also in the animated dads region, Homer Simpson could not defeat the spectacle of Mr. Incredible.
In the chaos dads region, the raw chaos of Frank Costanza defeated the permissive chaos of Hal Wilkerson while the furious patriarchal devotion of Gomez Addams easily defeated the hardass Red Forman…I am sure we are all now considered dumbasses.
In the classic TV dads region, Dan Conner and Andy Taylor took their matchup into overtime but ultimately, Dan Conner’s 90s blue collar survived and advanced. In one of the most anticipated matchups of the Dank 16, Uncle Phil won the Battle of the Phils in overtime.
Finally, in the drama dads region, Coach Taylor proved he could not take out two mob bosses as the protectionist instinct of Tony Soprano won the matchup in another overtime contest. In the last matchup of the Dank 16, Ron Swanson proved his pyramid of greatness was enough to defeat the raw loving devotion of Jack Pearson.
So who will advance to the Definitive 4? Will our collective trauma be vindicated by Mufasa’s victory? Will Gomez easily tango his way to the next round? Will Uncle Phil prove he had the toughest road to the championship and claim his place as the top TV dad? Will Tony Soprano’s violent impulses prove Ron Swanson wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place? You will decide!
Voting is live now on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_dags_bags/
Recap all the play-by-plays on our site: https://dagsbags.com/blogs/news
Keep it real out there,
Elijah Fenwick-Sanders
CDO, Chief Dad Officer