Fellow Dads,
After some hard fought battles and stunning upsets, the Dank 16 has been chosen.
The office favorite, Frank Reynolds had a respectable loss to Frank Costanza. It was also decided that Walter White was beyond redemption. There were total blowouts where Bandit Heeler wiped the floor with Hank Hill and Captain Holt could not match Gomez Addams fierce devotion to his family.
Then there were the close matches where Phil Dunphy narrowly outlasted Danny Tanner and Mufasa got the edge on Bob Belcher when time expired. Ultimately, the closest match-up, going into overtime, was Tim ‘the Toolman’ Taylor and Hal Winkerson. Hal was ultimately able to bring home the victory.
Now, we decide who advances to the Esteemed 8. The animated dads match the classics of Homer and Mufasa against the new aged Mr. Incredible and Bandit. Chaos dads will see a match up between the circumstantial chaos of Hal Wilkerson and the unhinged chaos of Frank Castanza. The winner will face a tough matchup between the 70s chaos of Red Foreman and the stoicism in the face of horror chaos of Gomez Addams.
In the classic TV dads division, the 50s working class dad of Andy Taylor will go against the 90s working class of Dan Conner. We will also decide the battle of the Phils, will Phil Dunphy or Uncle Phil carry the day?
Finally, the drama dads will see an unhinged matchup between Tony Soprano and Coach Taylor. Can Coach Taylor take out another crime boss? Will Jack Pearson’s sensitive soul overcome the gruff exterior of Ron Swanson?
You will decide their fates Thursday on Instagram! Follow us to vote: https://www.instagram.com/_dags_bags/
Keep it real out there,
Elijah Fenwick-Sanders
CDO, Chief Dad Officer
CDO, Chief Dad Officer